I found out tonight that I will have to have another injection of Methotrexate tomorrow morning. My HCG levels aren't going down as quickly as they should be. The nurse said they expected them to be in the 300's and they are still at 522.
I just feel really defeated. After I got off the phone I just wanted to bawl and scream and break something. As if this whole process hasn't been difficult enough, I get another injection of poison in my body. I'm afraid of side-effects, both short and long term and just feel like I've had ENOUGH! I just want this to end. I want to be on a beach somewhere. I don't want to have to think of this anymore. I need things to turn around and start getting better. I'm just done. But I have no choice, so there you go.
Feeling defeated. I know someday I'll look back on this time and know I got through it, but for now it's exhausting in so many ways. I thought it was almost over and now I've backed up about 10 steps. Ugh.
4 comments:
Sometimes, life is one giant step back and two steps forward...good luck tomorrow...I wanna see your new haircolor! P.S. Love the new pic of you and Rod! :-)
Hang in there! PS. Like the new photo of you two on the blog page....
I agree totally with everything said above. You are strong enough to handle all that is being thrown at you right now. Have Rod give you a blessing....you'll feel better!
Love the new pic and can't wait to see the new do!!
ugh. ugh. ugh. enough already! i'm sorry.
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