What comes next

First I want to thank all of you who have called, posted or emailed your sympathies. We really appreciate having such a wonderful family and group of friends. We'll get through this, but there is a loss and emptiness that will take time to heal.

Unfortunately, this road won't be over for a few more weeks. On Wednesday (12/31) morning I had 2 shots of Methotrexate to dissolve the pregnancy. It's a low-dose chemotherapy drug (scary) but it's supposedly the best course of treatment. Since it's a chemo drug, there are side-effects and it will also prevent us from being able to start trying for another baby for at least 3-4 months.

I have to go in for weekly blood tests to make sure the drug is terminating the pregnancy and to make sure it's not hurting my body. They have to watch my kidney and liver function, and blood platelets, among other things. I also have to stay away from anyone who is sick, since my immune systems will be down. I'm a little paranoid. This drug is hardcore and I hope it doesn't cause any long term problems.

I'll have another blood test this Saturday morning and then again next Wednesday. They have to keep checking at least 1-2 times weekly until they see that my HCG levels have gone down to zero and that my body is tolerating the drug. If the HCG levels are not steadily going down I'll have to have another injection of Methotrexate.

If for some reason the meds don't work completely, there would need to be surgery. I'm hopeful this medication will do what it needs to and we'll be done.

It's hard to really put it behind us when we're still dealing with the after effects. It's been really good for me and Rod to have spent the last few days together, being able to talk things through and be a comfort for each other. I have the most wonderful husband in the world. Rod has been such a comfort and strength to me. Even if it's just the two of us, we know how incredibly lucky and blessed we are to have each other.